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Aging Jewish Blogs
Aging Jewishly – Rabbi Barbara’s Book
What our traditions tell us about growing old In 2009 I began a Jewish journey that led me to not only serve as rabbi to men and women in a Jewish retirement community but to live among the residents as well. I viewed my apartment in the Independent Living wing of...
Is It Me or Are Packages Too Hard To Open?
What Our Traditions Tell Us about Growing OldBy Rabbi Barbara Aiello “Hey, Stan, that’s quite a handle you got there!” Macey shouted in surprise as he noticed the giant bandage on his friend, Stan’s hand. And indeed the mass of tape and gauze was enormous and yes the...
Trauma at the Seder Table
With the “good dishes” gracing the table, wine glasses gleaming and places set for 26 guests, the annual Passover seder was, as PopPop pronounced, “ready for prime time.” But in seconds the tranquility of the evening was disturbed by the shrieks of the two youngest...
Coming to Terms with a New Reality – “I’ll Never Be a Bubby!”
“Listen to this!” Julie looked up from her Tablet screen and motioned for her husband, Sandy, to join her at the kitchen table. “Look here. At least we’re not alone. We won’t be the only ones without grandkids. It says right here that lots of young couples don’t...
The Explosion of Antisemitism Compels Us Jews to Own Our Identity
Aging Jewishly – What Our Traditions Teach Us about Growing Old By Rabbi Barbara Aiello It started with pennies but at first my dear friend’s teenage daughter didn’t take it seriously. After all, the boy who was throwing pennies at her couldn’t even get the insult...
The Swastika Tattoo
By Rabbi Barbara Aiello “It’s always a good day when my grandson comes to visit!” Lillian’s smile said it all as she gave a quick wave to her friends. “I’ve got to rush. Kyle loves kugel so I’m making it for him and his friend, Joe.” Lillian got to work and just like...
How to Tackle Too Much Stuff – A Jewish Approach to Decluttering
How to Tackle Too Much Stuff – A Jewish Approach to DeclutteringRabbi Barbara Aiello “Can I help you with that?” The question came from the UPS driver who had just delivered a package to Jeanette’s next door neighbor. Jeanette offered a grateful smile and let the...
Prying My Grandkids Off Their Cell Phones
Luisa describes herself as one of the lucky ones. She says, “I have it better than so many of my friends. My grandkids live near me and I see them all the time.” But for Luisa, her visits with her grandchildren have taken a troublesome turn. “I SEE my grandkids,” she...
Kvetching – Is There an Upside to Voicing Our Complaints?
Aging Jewishly – What Our Traditions Teach Us about Growing Old By Rabbi Barbara Aiello “He’s at it again,” whispered Harry as he grabbed his friend’s shoulder in an attempt to steer him away from Bernie, a colleague who was “holding court” in front of the shul....
Ice Cream and Jews
Ice Cream’s Jewish Connection It’s the season to enjoy summertime’s favorite treat – ice cream. It’s cool, it’s delicious and it’s Jewish! Thanks to an article by Joan Nathan (Tablet Magazine) we can start by introducing Reuben Mattus who began his career in the ice...
Bullies in Senior Living Communities
What Happens When Bullies Grow Up and Move to Senior Living “I haven’t seen you in the dining room for ages,” Selma said as she rushed to greet her neighbor, Betty who lived on the on the same floor in their senior living complex. Betty wrung her hands and said,...
Reclaiming Shabbat
Reclaiming Shabbat Rabbi Barbara Aiello For Harvey it was the sweet smell of the challah. “I’d come in the door and, Oh, that smell! When I think of Shabbat it’s my mother’s challah that always comes to mind.” “It might sound silly but it was the newspaper on the...
Should I tell them I’m sick?
Aging Jewishly – What Our Traditions Teach Us about Growing Old It has been three weeks since Dan got the news and his head is still spinning. “I know I’m getting on in years,” says the 78 year old retired biology teacher and part time musician, “but I never expected...
The Golden Girls as Role Models for Our Golden Years
Aging Jewishly – What Our Traditions Teach Us about Growing Old “I know it sounds silly but I guess I wanted her to live forever,” Paulette said to the reporter who approached her in the local shopping mall to ask about the death of Betty White. Paulette characterized...
The War on Ukraine – Many American Jews say, “For Us It’s Personal”
Aging Jewishly – What Our Traditions Teach Us about Growing Old By Rabbi Barbara Aiello For many among us, including Roseann Barr, Leonard Nimoy, Isaac Stern, Carl Sagan, Amy Schumer and Chuck Schumer, Ukraine is our ancestral home. More than ten percent of American...
When the Economy Goes South, Should We Help the Kids?
Aging Jewishly – What Our Traditions Tell Us about Growing Old “Let’s turn off the computer and go to bed.” Mel pushed the power button, shook his head and turned to his wife, Liddy. Mel’s worry was obvious. “I don’t like what I hear when I talk to the grandkids....
When a Loved One Dies by Suicide
Aging Jewishly – What Our Traditions Tell Us about Growing Old As her cell phone slid from her grasp, it occurred to Dorothy that she was in shock. The room was spinning, so much so that Dorothy grabbed the back of her kitchen chair and stumbled forward in an awkward...
Handing Out Cash to the Grandkids – Is There a Better Way?
Handing Out Cash to the Grandkids – Is There a Better Way? Aging Jewishly – What Our Traditions Tell Us about Growing Old Rabbi Barbara Aiello “One, Two, Three, Four and Five! That’s it, five envelopes all ready for the grandkids.” Ed smiled as he visualized each of...
Clairvoyant? An Elderly Aunt Discloses a Dubious Gift
Aging Jewishly – What Our Traditions Tell Us about Growing Old Rabbi Barbara Aiello She was just a little girl when it happened. It was early morning in her family’s tumbledown house in a steel town in western Pennsylvania. The little girl, still tucked in her bed...
Judge Judy’s Advice to Seniors
The timer on the kitchen stove began its ding –ding-ding reminding Iris to switch on the television and call to her husband. “Come on, Larry. It’s five minutes to Judge Judy!” That was enough for Larry to stop his cleaning binge and in minutes both Iris and Larry had...
Elderly, Oldster, or Senior – What Do Older People Prefer to Be Called?
Aging Jewishly – What Our Traditions Tell Us about Growing Old By Rabbi Barbara Aiello The supermarket checkout line was long and social distancing made it seem longer. As Dorothea and her granddaughter, Lisa moved forward the young man ahead of them turned abruptly...
Rededicate Your Home on Chanukah
Rededicate Your Home on Chanukah Polly said, “It’s early this year,” and Helen agreed. Edith confessed that she just wasn’t ready, while George complained that his retirement community prohibited the use of lighted candles, “So how am I gonna make Chanukah this...
Labor Day Rosh Hashanah and Thanksgiving Chanukah – Enough Already!
Can We Bring the Generations Together with a New Diaspora Calendar? Aging Jewishly – What Our Traditions Tell Us about Growing Old By Rabbi Barbara Aiello Long before Covid complicated Jewish observance, there were ominous signs that participation in synagogue life,...
Can We Bring the Generations Together with a New Diaspora Calendar?
Can We Bring the Generations Together with a New Diaspora Calendar? Long before Covid complicated Jewish observance, there were ominous signs that participation in synagogue life, especially Holy Day and festival services, was on the decline. Dependent as we Jews are...
When Elder Driving Becomes Dangerous – How to Give Up the Keys
Aging Jewishly – What Our Traditions Tell Us about Growing Old Lou’s twin granddaughters, Rebecca and Rena were due at the house any minute and Lou was running a bit behind. Lou had misplaced his cell phone and he had been searching for it for more than an hour. The...
A Dangerous Combination – Drug Abuse with Older Adults
It was touch and go but Sam survived open heart surgery. Although he had just turned 83, Sam was recovering well and his sons, Jake and Zack, were grateful and relieved. As they left the hospital Zack reminded Sam that they’d have to make a stop. “You only have enough...
Restaurants Getting Louder
Is It Me Or Are Restaurants Getting Louder? “No I don’t want to go there. And not there either! How about we forget the restaurant and just eat at home!” Elaine just looked at her husband and shook her head. “Lenny, what’s wrong. Eating out was something we always...
Destination Celebration Tips
A Wedding in Europe – A Bar Mitzvah in the Caribbean Tips for Seniors on the Destination Family Simcha “Well I never thought I’d see the day,” exclaimed Eva to her senior living buddy, Gladys. “When did this happen? When did you start using a cane.?” “That’s...
Seniors Learning Hebrew
Teaching Hebrew to Seniors – Materials, Methods and Positive Results Not long ago five women were called to the Torah, each as a Bat Mitzvah. Not unusual except for the fact that the women on the bimah were all senior citizens, and, most significant of all, the...
Blessing of Hospice
The Blessing of Hospice "Hospice is suicide!" That's what Dad said anytime the subject of death came up, which happened quite a lot in those last few years, especially since so many of his dear friends had died. "I can't believe anyone would even think about it,"...
Working Seniors
“Should I Go Back to Work?” Sheila’s face said it all. In recent months Dina noted that her best friend rarely smiled and seemed out of sorts, sad and drained of enthusiasm. Finally Dina broached the subject; “Sheila, what’s wrong. In all our years I’ve never seen...
Pets and Seniors
The Impact of Pet Ownership for Seniors Their names are Scruffy, Ruffy, Midnight and Puddin’Pie. Then there’s Tuvia, Tova, Sheina and Butch. These are the names of dogs and cats - pets whose owners I’ve come to know and love over the years that I served as a campus...
When Divorced Parents Age
“When the telephone rang at 2:00 am I knew it had to be bad news… and it was,” says Kyle who, along with his older sister, shares the responsibility for caring for their aging parents. “My sister was out of town so I raced to the hospital to be with Mom. She lives...
“I haven’t heard from him in years…” When Parents and Adult Children Are Estranged
Aging Jewishly – What Our Traditions Teach Us about Growing Old By Rabbi Barbara Aiello The cellphone chimed the first few bars of Jimmy Buffett’s “Margaritaville”, jolting Julie out of her ten minute afternoon “schlaf.” “Did I catch you sleeping?” It was Beth,...
Married Priests
Could Married Priests and Women Priests Revive the Catholic Church? “I remember when I lived in Brooklyn, my best girlfriend was Catholic, says Helen C., now in her 90’s. “When we walked to school we’d pass her church, St. Lucy’s. Sometimes we’d stop to say hello to...
Aging Parents
The Talmud’s Take on Aging Parents When I was about ten years old I knew enough Italian from my immigrant parents to understand the particulars of a heated argument. That day my father, who was about 50 years old at the time, was having “words” with his father, my...
Parents Outliving Children
When Parents Outlive Their Children – A New Dimension to the Tragedy What Our Traditions Teach Us about Growing Old When Bernie celebrated his ninety-seventh birthday he was surrounded by friends and family – all but one. Bernie’s daughter, Marsha was unable to make...
Sex and Seniors
Sex and Seniors – The Jewish Perspective Daniel Reingold, president and CEO of River Spring Health, the organization that operates the Hebrew Home of Riverdale, NY, is credited with developing a policy that highlights an important aspect of senior living. In an...
Aging Holocaust Survivors
As Holocaust Survivors Age – What We All Need To Know Sergio Della Pergola, child of the Holocaust, was born in Trieste, Italy in 1942. He survived to become the leading demographic authority in the study of the Jewish population worldwide. An international award...
Interfaith Grandkids
Interfaith Grandkids and Crayola Crayons “Rabbi, I have to ask you something and it’s very personal,” said Ann as she wagged her finger in the typical “don’t tell,” motion. At the time of her question Ann was a relative newcomer on the Aviva campus, (formerly the...
Political Sermons
Political Sermons Can Destroy the Spirituality of the High Holy Days “Everybody’s got something to say about politics – at the office, school, in the dry clean and at the grocery store. You can’t get away from it. Except on Shabbat, which I now make at home....
Elderly Isolation
Elderly Isolation It’s Bad for Mom But Worse for Dad “We’re so worried about Dad.” That’s how Karen began her email to me. “He’s so lonely and my brother and I don’t know what to do.” Karen’s father, Sid, lived alone in the condo he once shared with his beloved...
Eldery Jews and Psychotherapy
“I’m Getting Help” Eldery Jews and Psychotherapy “Hilda, you look fabulous,” Gemma remarked as Hilda, her oldest friend, made her way to the table in their favorite restaurant. “No kidding!” Polly agreed as she noticed the positive change in Hilda as well....
Spiritual Bucket List
The Spiritual Bucket List Well I made it another New Year,” Saul said. “But will we make it to the next one?” mused Ellie. Saul and Ellie sat at a table sipping coffee (decaf, of course!) thinking about the year that was and the year ahead. “Rosh HaShanah’s come and...
Aging Jewishly
The Talmud’s Take on Aging Parents Aging Jewishly – What Our Traditions Teach Us about Growing Old When I was about ten years old I knew enough Italian from my immigrant parents to understand the particulars of a heated argument. That day my father, who was about 50...
Yarmulke Game
The Yarmulke Game Aging Jewishly – What Our Traditions Teach Us about Growing Old “Jill and Josh – June 21, 1978” “Chloe’s Bat Mitzvah 2007” “Mazel Tov Sam and Zach 2016” “ I just don’t know what to do with these,” said Charna as she lifted a handful of...
Widowed Parents Find Love
When Our Widowed Parents Find Love Again Several years ago I opened the door to my rabbi’s study to find an elderly couple, both well into their eighties, hoping that I would meet with them. At first I thought something terrible had happened. The man hung his...
Inflation’s Killing Our Budget – Should We Ask Our Kids for Help?
Aging Jewishly – What Our Traditions Tell Us about Growing Old By Rabbi Barbara Aiello The Kitchen table in Beth and Martin’s apartment was covered with papers, each in its own neat stack. There were utility bills, grocery receipts, doctors’ prescriptions and an...
Grandparents Sharing Their Heritage with Interfaith Jewish Grandchildren
How Grandparents Can Share Their Heritage with Secular or Interfaith Jewish Grandchildren “I’m afraid to interfere,” said Magda, grandmother to interfaith twin girls whose Jewish son and Methodist daughter-in-law are raising their daughters in both faiths. Magda’s...
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